Here is how to explain mom burnout to husband so that he understands completely what you are going through. Being a full-time mom has its pros and cons and mom burnout is one of its downsides. That’s why you need your hubby to be on board to help you overcome it.
Now if you reading this, you already know what mom burnout is but if you don’t here’s a short definition. Mom burnout is simply when you feel exhausted physically, emotionally, and mentally.
There are 5 stages of mom burnout which include the honeymoon phase, stress, chronic stress, burnout, and chronic burnout. Mom burnout is very common and it is important to understand the signs.
Common signs of mom burnout are exhaustion, irritability, anger, guilt, stress, depression, regrets, disconnection, and wanting to give up. Now mom burnout is very real and can become serious if you do not get help.
To overcome mom burnout, you need to first acknowledge that you actually have a problem and talk about it preferably with your husband, after all, he is the closest to you, right? So here’s how to help him understand what you’re going through.
How To Explain Mom Burnout To Husband
Okay, so for someone to fully understand something, they actually have to feel it first. It’s like telling a child not to play with fire, they won’t listen until they get burned.
Men are like that, they won’t know your pain unless they actually feel it. That’s why I recommend letting your husband take on some of the responsibilities of parenting for a while, that way, explaining it becomes so much easier.
1. Set The Scene
To successfully explain your burnout to your hubby, you must first make sure that the scene is right. You don’t want any distractions so it’s best to get the kids to sleep and grab a bottle of your favorite wine to shake off some of the stress.
You also want to make sure that your hubby is in a good mood before trying to talk cause you know, our guys are like big babies lol. That said, don’t give him the impression that this date means playtime.
2. Use A Conversational Tone
Next, it’s important that you remember NOT to use an offensive or defensive tone. This talk has to be conversational and use words like “I” to prevent accusations.
For example, you could start with something like, ” I have been feeling really exhausted lately and I would like to share my experience with you”.
This way, you prevent him from feeling like you are blaming him for what’s going on in your life and that you are just looking for a shoulder to cry on.
3. Describe Your Responsibilities
So this one is tricky because men already feel like it’s our responsibility as a mom and wives to take care of what’s going on at home. That’s why you need to explain it like he’s five and remember to keep it conversational.
You could start with something like “You know I love taking care of the kids, cooking, cleaning, & being a wife but it’s taking a toll on me physically, emotionally, and mentally lately”.
Continue by letting him know there is nothing more important to you in the world than fulfilling your responsibilities but it’s getting harder.
4. Explain How It’s Affecting You
Next, you need to outline how mom burnout is affecting you but remember to keep it conversational. Let him know that these feelings are not his fault and he is the most amazing husband in the world.
Start by explaining how it’s getting harder for you to concentrate, and that your stress levels are through the roof.
Let him know about your work overload, and how every day feels like a race against time. Tell him that you are having feelings of exhaustion physically, mentally, and emotionally.
And finally, help him understand that these feelings are leading you to feel regret and guilt, and causing your disconnection.
5. Tell Him What You Need
Now that you’ve explained your feelings, it’s time to bluntly ask for his support. I understand that this step is pretty hard cause he already has a day job and is tired when he gets home.
So start by appreciating what he does, how you know that he works hard enough and you are not degrading his efforts in any way.
Ask him for his help by telling him that you need help with certain aspects of your responsibilities. Choose one or two that are particularly stressful to you that he could take turns helping you with.
It could be taking turns feeding the baby at night so that you get more sleep or helping out with the kid’s homework. You could even let him choose what he’s comfortable helping out with.
Anything that helps reduce your workload will do.
6. Share The Long-term Effects Of Burnout
Once you’ve made him understand that help is needed, you will need to show him the long-term effects that burnout causes by gathering research beforehand.
Here is a trusted source that explains mom burnout plus the effects of not getting help. You could share a link with him so that he reads through it or print it out for him.
He needs to know that if you do not get help, mom burnout can put a strain on your relationship with him and decrease your overall productivity plus your mental health.
7. Let him Talk
Now that you’ve made your feelings clear, it’s time to let him explain how he feels about the situation. Let him know that you value his thoughts and that you are willing to collaborate with him in finding a solid solution.
Make sure that this step does not lead to an argument and that you both need to brainstorm ideas together. This is the best way to foster a sense of shared responsibility.
8. Set A Plan
Finally, you both need to set up a plan evaluate your progress, and make adjustments where necessary. It’s also important to acknowledge that you both need to keep an open line of communication open until you overcome mom burnout.
I really hope this post helps you understand how to explain mom burnout to your husband and make sure to take action. Remember, communication is key to finding a solution.